Archive for "Jan 17 2009"

Debbie was right!

During the ’80s, when I was editor of Creative Loafing, the publisher, Debbie Eason, used to tell me something that annoyed the hell out of me: “You need to say two nice things for every negative thing you say.”

Being a natural-born critic, the advice drove me crazy.

It turns out, however, that it was excellent advice, according to an interesting article in the December issue of Psychology Today. The article pertains to a study of the way we judge people on two axes — competence and morality — and how we end up objecting to people who threaten our own egos. The article concludes with this advice:

Monin says all these lines of research “are about others’ exemplary behavior making you feel like a schmuck.” There’s a perfect defense, though: self-affirmation. Participants who first wrote about qualities they liked in themselves became more generous in their judgments of rebels’ intelligence or morality. “If I make you secure in the fact that you’re a great tennis player or a reliable friend, then you can probably feel OK when I point out that you don’t recycle enough,” he says. “Otherwise you might lash back.”

Dumb

The Economist features a strongly negative summation of the Bush presidency.  They have plenty to say that’s flattering too. My favorite paragraph, early in the essay:

He came across as an affable chap, particularly when compared with his uptight rival. Frank Bruni, who covered his election campaign for the New York Times, wrote in 2002 that “the Bush I knew was part scamp and part bumbler, a timeless fraternity boy and heedless cutup, a weekday gym rat and weekend napster.” And the then governor of Texas presented himself as a centrist—a new kind of “compassionate conservative”, a “uniter rather than a divider”, an advocate of a “humble” and restrained foreign policy. The Economist liked this mixture enough to endorse him in 2000.

Um, so that’s why the Economist endorsed him, huh? I think that boils down to: “We at The Economist voted for George Bush because he came across as the kind of guy we like to have a beer with.”

Sorry, guys, but anyone who listened closely to his empty rhetoric or bothered to examine his record in Texas knew Bush was going to be a disaster from the day he announced his candidacy.

Tires: an emblem of self esteem and regard for your family

I’ve never cared anything about cars, with the exception of the vintage MGBs I’ve driven now and then. I’d happily live in a city where I didn’t have to own one.

My disregard for the appearance of my ride, a ridiculously gas-hungry Jeep Grand Cherokee, is shocking to friends who treat their expensive vehicles like direct expressions of their self-esteem. If they acquire a new one, they’re always shocked that I have no idea they’ve spent a zillion dollars on it. (So they tell me.)

I had to buy tires for my car this week. It’s amazing to me how much a damn tire costs. Of course, there’s a range of prices but even a tire is loaded with all sorts of hidden meanings, apparently.

When I called Midtown Tire, I was immediately quoted a price that was well over $200 a tire. I said that I wasn’t willing to pay that much.

“Alright, we have some less expensive,” the guy on the phone said. “But let me ask you a question, Mr…..Um…What’s your name?”

“Bostock,” I said.

“Okay, Mr. Bostock, let me ask you this. Do you care about the safety of your family?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. “That’s not an issue for me,” I said.

“Well,” he said, “let me ask you another question, Mr. Bostock.”

“Okay.”

“Do you care about the quality of your ride? Let me tell you that if you buy these less expensive tires, you’re going to feel like you’ve gone from driving a Mercedes to a jalopy. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

At that point, I hung up without saying good-bye and determined to buy the tires at a shop in Grant Park near our house, where the salesman asked me point-blank, “Do you want an expensive tire or a cheap tire.” I told him cheap sounded good and he said, “Of course it does.” The work was done in barely an hour.

My self-esteem is so low.